sg12girl's Xanga

Saturday, July 15, 2006

Sat, 15 Jul 2006 06:23:16 GMT

I had to make an entry tonight. I feel like it was a great 'alone' night. I mean, I did spend a great dinner with friends and even had a good online chat after. All of that was good and wonderful, but the time alone I spent after was even better. I have to admit that. Like now, I should go to bed and I will so soon, but I am actually enjoying just being with myself and the music. And even tho that has always been something I loved, these past few weeks it has been hard. It is not hard now and I like that.

The way that I see people lately is better than ever before. I am appreciating things that I never did before, and frankly before I thought i was more appreciative than ever. I did not know it could become greater, but it has. I am thankful for learning stuff from others.

At the 7-11 tonight the cashier asked the girl how she was and she said, 'Not so good. It has been one of those days.' Cashier then said, 'Well, if it were not for the bad days, you could not appreciate the good days. You would not be able to tell the difference.' He was a good cashier. Ya.

Thursday, July 13, 2006

Thu, 13 Jul 2006 10:13:43 GMT

I am so sick of the rain. It is making me very annoyed and that is kinda odd even cause I usually like the rain. I still like the rain but not when it is going on and on for days and days and days. Blah.

Other stuff is good. I love my new schedule even tho it makes it hard for me to see my Mom as much and or anyone for that matter other than in weekends. I love weekends tho, even when they make me antzy because I am not at work. haha.

In a couple of weeks, my dog and I start Agility class. We have still been practicing everyday after work. It is much fun.

Tuesday, July 11, 2006

Tue, 11 Jul 2006 10:57:00 GMT

I do not write in here enough. I have been feeling good and then kinda blah and emotional on and off. I need to remember that it is ok sometimes to just be mad for a while. It is also possible to be ok and good in many areas of your life and still be mad or upset in others. It is weird how that works and I always, since forever, have wondered how it is so easy to feel two emotions at once. Or sometimes even 3 or 4. It is semi annoying and semi cool. See what I mean? Who would ever have thought that something could be annoying AND cool at once. Wow-ness.

Last night we went to bed not talkin',
'Cause we'd already said too muh.
I faced the wall, you faced the window.
Bound and determined not to touch.

We've been married seven years now.
Sometimes it feels like 21.
I'm still mad at you this mornin'.
Coffee's ready if you want some.
I've been up since five, thinkin' bout me and you.
And I've got to tell you the conclusion I've come to.

I'll never leave, I'll never stray.
My love for you will never change.
But I ain't ready to make up.
We'll get around to that.
I think I'm right, I think you're wrong.
I'll prob'ly give in before long.
Please don't make me smile.
I just wanna be mad for a while.

Well, now you might as well forget it.
Don't run your fingers through my hair.
Yeah, that's right, I'm bein' stubborn.
No, I don't wanna go back upstairs.
I'm gonna leave for work without a goodbye kiss.
But as I'm drivin' off, just remember this.

I'll never leave, I'll never stray.
My love for you will never change.
But I ain't ready to make up.
We'll get around to that.
I think I'm right, I think you're wrong.
I'll prob'ly give in before long.
Please don't make me smile.
I just wanna be mad for a while.

I'll never leave, I'll never stray.
My love for you will never change.
But I ain't ready to make up.
We'll get around to that.
I think I'm right, I think you're wrong.
I'll prob'ly give in before long.
Please don't make me smile.
I just wanna be mad for a while.

I just wanna be mad for a while.
I just wanna be mad for a while.
I just wanna be mad for a while.

Tuesday, June 20, 2006

Tue, 20 Jun 2006 16:29:57 GMT

My old friend Rick used to say that you can tell a lot about a person by their friends. I was at work today and thinking about the 'group therapy' that we do there and about most of my friends and I decided he was right. I mean, I knew he was right anyway but even more so when I really think about it. I love my co-workers and they are now some of my closest friends. Anna mostly of course but the others as well.

I hate packing and feel like PMS is back already and it should not be. At least I do not think that it should be even if maybe it should. *shrug*

Tuesday, May 30, 2006

Tue, 30 May 2006 21:30:28 GMT

I miss Alicia something furious. She feels the same way, but it is so hard to get together with the hours she works and then our kids and housework/stuff that we have to do in the evenings. She also works most weekends when I am free. We say 'miss you!' too often lately and I hope that it changes soon.

I am still so excited to be moving. I am also excited to be moving to a new place with Brett because he and I have not done that before. I think that it will be a good experience. He is my bestest friend in the whole world and I really do not know what I would do without him. Yay for the inseperable and in love! Eh?

Ej is dirty from being outside.

Monday, May 29, 2006

Mon, 29 May 2006 00:18:58 GMT

I am moving. I am so excited. I am tired from a late fun night last night. I can't wait to move. My eating is still great also and I am getting more fitter. Tomorrow we are going to Gramma's to swim.

Monday, May 22, 2006

Mon, 22 May 2006 15:51:14 GMT

I just did Tae Bo. I am finally going to get back on track and I am sure of it finally also. I have not gained weight, but have not lost any either. I also may have gained the 11 I lost many months ago back again. I am not sure. I am just sure that I want to and will lose this time. I have done it in the past so I know that I can, but I just did not ever know for sure if I wanted to again this time or not. In ways I was satisfied with my weight and not gaining more after reaching my current weight, but now I know that I def do want to lose at least 12 and hopefully 15-20. I mean, if I do not lose and just stay the same but get toned and maybe lose some inches I will not be depressed or miserable, but I am sure that I am going to change my eating habits and be even more strict than I had been. 'Eat bad days' once a week even is definately too much and I was having more like 2-3 a week. I want to go down to twice a month for eat bad days and then eventually just once a month at the VERY most. I know that I can do it if I choose cause I realize that I am the only one responsible for putting food in my mouth and if there is nothing wrong with me, then there is no such thing as 'I can't lose weight'. Of course I can if I want to. If I want to then I can. It feels good anyway cause luckily I also know myself well enough to know when I am sure about sticking with something and I have reached the end of my rope. I do not want to die of a heart attack from something I could have changed. Not to say that I would, but ya never know. I am keeping an at home writing journal to write what I eat and the excersise that I do. I also might write some here although I mostly prefer to write about other things in my blog, heh. Except for today that is.

I still want to find out where my father is and what he looks like. I am definately going to do that as much as I can sooner than later. I also can not feel guilty for bringing it up to the people I love.

We are going to a house party/bonfire this Saturday. I am so excited as house parties are my favorite! It depends on a sitter still, but I am hoping anyway. These two friends have been wanting us over for ages and we have not gone. The last time it got rained out. This time it better not! Wooohoooo! Despite PMS and my slite antzy-ness, I feel pretty good.

Monday, May 08, 2006

Mon, 08 May 2006 18:33:39 GMT

I am so excited. Brett and I are going to see Poison on August 5th. I was thinking about bringing Ej also, but I really want to go with people that love the band as much as me and know all of the songs. My friend Shauna and I just had a huge hairband discussion at work the other day, so I think she would be very excited to go. I shall see tomorrow. I just can't believe that I am going again, but I knew that I had to. Mom surprised and me also and that is too cool. I feel very tired and a lil cranky just because I am tired, but also I feel good and good.

It is so nice out. I think that I am going to sit in the sun for a while.

Thursday, May 04, 2006

Thu, 04 May 2006 19:13:36 GMT

It is great weather today. I know now that I am not nearly as irritable when the weather is nice. I am not good at Winter anymore. If I was rich, I would go to Cali every year from January-March/April. I would love it there and I would ask my best friend Shayne to show me all the stuff. Then I would memorize it so that when he could not show us stuff, I could get to the places myself. Kids and Brett would love it too. I think that if I did that, I would never get depressed again. Not that I ever get 'really' depressed and sad and all that, but I just feel kinda blah in the Winter and a lot more often than usual. My friend Sheena is the same way. She no longer works with me and I miss her. I NEED to call her this Friday.

I am not getting better about seeing all of my close friends more often and I really need to this time. I am making a promise to myself this day that starting this weekend, I will make more time for my friends that I miss and who miss me. I hate feeling distant from them and I never get sick of them. It just feels like I am always busy and I am not. I have time and if I have no time, I will need to make time. That is that. I am going to write a hand written letter to Dal Rae tonight and send it in the morning. Then I will go see her as soon as she has the time. I am going to be starting the Grooming school in January of next year probably so then I will be really busy and will not have the time.

I write all of this down because it helps me get it straight in my head. I love having this journal for myself more than anything because it helps me to plan and situate every thought that I have and feeling that I feel. I mean, not every feeling and thought because I do not write about every feeling or thought, but the important stuff that I am just trying to put in order in my mind. My Mom was always the 'write it down' type and now I am also. I write in a journal at home, and make lists of things that I have to do, and then of course I do this one for my emotional well being most of all. It is very cool stuff.

Brett does not have to shave at his new job. He is not really a hairy guy anyway, but he does have a lil on his upper lip and a kind of small/light goatee will grow at the bottom. I love it. Even with just the lil bit, I think that it is as sexy as ever. I am excited that he does not have to shave. Some chicks like guys with hairy-ness and some like none. I can't imagine being a girl who loves men and wanting them to be smooth like women. I also can't imagine being a guy that likes women and wanting her to be skinny and 'hard/firm' like a man. I like my girls a lil soft and my guys with some hair. Thats just me tho. We all have different opinions and in all reality, I like that. I love that we are all different. I also like 'strange' people because as I keep saying recently, 'normal people frighten me'.

Brett and I went to lunch today and had sandwiches at Panera Bread. I love it there. I had half a turkey and a half a salad. I am so glad we went. I am also trying to do more stuff with Brett again. For a while it seemed we were together all of the time and now it seems that I miss him and do not have as much time. So ya. I am making a point to make more time for everyone. I think I can. I want to can. I need to can. Heh.

I am still keeping house lovely and still losing weight slowly but surely. Goals, goals, goals. That is what I keep writing about really. I love my blog. 4-eva

I have been plucking the extra hair out of Sheridan at work. I am keeping it in a bag to make a lil pillow. My peeps think that is very cool and silly and great. It is very Sarahg-ish. Of course it will be a lil pillow and not one to actually lay on, but it will still be cute. I'll have to find a place that will put his pic on a fabric. I know there are places like that. I love my dogs.

I am getting bed early tonight and reading this great horse book that I have. I am so happy and proud that I rode the horse again and that I remember how. I am going more often for sure. I am so excited even if it sounds a lil dorky for me to say 'proud' and words like that, but I mean it. Yes, yes I do.

Tuesday, May 02, 2006

Tue, 02 May 2006 22:22:59 GMT

Things are looking up. I got my mom her flowers. Flowers are expensive, but they were/are sooo beautiful. I was excited to deliver them with a balloon. My baseball game looks to be rained out and that sucks, but maybe I will get some sleep tonight. I had a great visit with Mom today. We ordered my new 'razorphone' from Verizon. I had never heard of one, but my Mom said they were the coolest ever and we looked at cool pics. I was eligable on the plan for a free phone even tho it should have been about $300 if I just bought it. Very cool. I am so excited. I could have gotten a pink one, but pink is definately not my color. Mine will be silver. Silver is one of my favorite colors.

I am saving money this Summer and starting the Grooming school that is through my work in September sometime. I wanted to be a trainer, but they make not enough money. I will make commision and good money in Grooming, but will also be very dirty! Luckily for me, I like to get dirty and I love dogs. I can get a job at my work, or somewhere else. I am really excited.

I got my dog and cat really cheap and cool dishes at Old Navy today.